The Ugly TRUTH

I sit here at 175.7 pounds, 3 months and 13 days after having our sweet baby #3. At 6 weeks post baby I was ALL about loosing the weight. I had my BFFL wedding in CABO (of all places)! I got down to 175 and found some great dresses that fit and I was NOT going to let my weight stop me from enjoying my mini vacay! I THOUGHT I looked SO cute in my dresses, UNTIL I saw ALL the other 20 something (no babies) women and then I wanted to hide, BUT I did NOT hide! I enjoyed myself and knew deep inside my husband loves me and my body. My family thinks I am pretty, That's all I need. In my head I swear I am a size 4 or 6 NOT a 14. I am the MASTER of cropping my pictures, I know the perfect angle to stand for pictures to look 1/2 my size. I buy what I think is "cute" in style clothes, but when I look at the size (XL) I see "big" girl clothes and kinda makes me sick to my full tummy. So I add a cute scarf, big earrings, and great make-up, so no one looks past my neck (so I tell myself). I am for the most part a VERY (over) confident person. I use humor to fill in my short comings BUT the other day on facebook I saw a picture of a SWEET friend who had a baby on the SAME day as I did and she was STUNNING! She was in a bikini with a six pack....I will never be in a bikini (I never have, my chest is WAY to large for one, no matter what size I am) but it made me think...I am pretty sure i DO NOT need to eating that AMAZING "Baconator" even though it IS just "the son of" one. Her picture has been all I can think about! I was talking to my husband about it and he said (in a NICE way), "Well, you are not one to care about what your body looks like." Well, he is right AND he is wrong. Would I rather eat that number one then be a size one YES! Would I rather order a number one and have diabetes NO! I have a CRAZY life, I have three boys, a home to maintain (and I LIKE it to be clean), dinner to cook, meals to make, home school to teach AND lets add working out and eating healthy ARRRRR! it is too much! What do I give up??? After taking a picture of myself in just a bra and unders and MADE myself look at it, I realize I AM LARGE! I am only 5ft 2in and I should NOT be this LARGE no matter how many kids I have had in four years. THANK the sweet Lord that my husband DOES love me and ALL of me no matter what size BUT come on, I could stand to loose a little, well....I could loose about 50-55lbs. SO today my mind, heart, and attitude was ready for this change. You can ask my sister and she will tell you NO one can talk me into a change or an action BUT AMANDA will do it or not do it on her OWN time! She is right, watch out fat because I have hit the ground "running". September 13, 2012 is the day I, AMANDA, decide to get MY body back! I would love for you to follow my journey and PLEASE join in and START yours! Email me with any question to amanda@tinybitmore.com.

175.7

xoxo- amanda